I’m naturally an optimist, but that sometimes often usually works against me. I expect the best outcome from situations, and when realism sets in and my expectations aren’t met, I can become bitter, angry, and resentful. If lots of things don’t work out well, like they did for me last week, I can even become a sad sack of woe is me. It’s not pretty, trust me, because even worse than woe is me is what I become – woe is me who is unwilling to admit he is woe is me.
The thing about feeling down is that it often isn’t just about the situation; lies can creep into my mind and in the worst cases, I start seeing myself as completely unworthy, a trash heap that can’t and shouldn’t receive love. I’m lucky to have lived in relatively stable, loving situations my whole life and to have brain chemistry that doesn’t seem predicated toward depression, but I know that so many aren’t so blessed; you may know these miseries far more intimately than I do.
I worry that for many, even those that understand the message of grace, we might sink too far into the pit of “I’m a sinner” and forget that we are made whole and holy in Christ, that we’ll stick the unworthy label to ourselves and forget who we really are. As we shrink away, we become like Simon, who at the beginning of Gurren Lagann has literally lived as lower than dirt, which is reflected in his timidity. It takes someone greater than Simon to raise him up through actions and words, including one of the best quotes anime has to offer.
Our value can’t be found in ourselves. In that case, it has either a tendency to be misguided toward pride or toward a self-deprecation that takes away the power of God to redeem. Instead, our value is in the Creator, who would forsake the glory he deserves to take upon his shoulders the punishment he did not because we meant that much to him.
Sometimes, maybe usually, in the moments that we’re at our lowest, our heart is unable to believe that we are so very significant and important in God’s eyes. But my hope is that when the valley teeters out and a glimpse of light shines through, we remember that we are loved. And the one who loves us makes all the difference, because on his unshakable foundation and promises we can proclaim that we believe in the God who believes in us.
Great post!
I’ve actually thought about this a lot before, I like taking it as “Believe in the God who believes in you.”
Obviously, I’m not perfect and God knows I’ll fail, but when He calls me to do something, with Him (that’s the key) I can do it and I don’t have to worry about whether I’m strong enough- I can do all things through Christ who is my strength!
Thanks for the comment!
These days, I’ve been thinking about what you’re talking about especially in regards to anxiety. We’re not supposed to worry about anything, but we’re still anxious (some to a very great extent) about many things. I know that for me and some very close to me, it’s so important to receive constant reminders of how good God is, and how he “believes” in me.
No problem! I love the concept of this site and what you’re doing!
Yeah, just the fact that God has a place for us in His eternal plan is pretty amazing. It speaks really highly of how much He wants to connect with us and believes in us (with Him) that He wants to work with us!
Thank you!!
Oh, wait, I remember you ! ! Is this the same blogsite you had several years ago ?
Yes – I left the site about two years ago, but came back to be its administrator again a week or two ago!
Can I just say that I absolutely ADORE how you use the Gurren Lagann quote here to analogize it to God?! That is beautiful and nicely explains how faith works! : 3 For once I have basically zero complicated theological commentary. XD
“Our value can’t be found in ourselves. In that case, it has either a tendency to be misguided toward pride or toward a self-deprecation that takes away the power of God to redeem. Instead, our value is in the Creator, who would forsake the glory he deserves to take upon his shoulders the punishment he did not because we meant that much to him.”
I’m actually glad to hear that someone else on here suffers from the phenomenon I can only describe as “inverted pride”— A tendency to hate yourself so much it borders on psychological attack. Stabbing daggers at your own heart. The interesting thing about it, and depression, is that they tend to make you just as self-centered as if you were prideful. Consumed by your own pain and anxiety like a monster that swallows you whole.
….the strangest thing happened to me, at my lowest point. On the day when I felt so bad that death was actually preferable to feeling that bad anymore….I heard someone’s voice inside my head. Someone who told me that it was crazy to be worried about what other people thought of me when the source of the whole thought process involved was totally fine with me, just the way I was. And that, whatever it was, saved my life. Made me realize how selfish it’d be to throw myself away and leave other people behind.
The thing I most agree with Christianity on is that you won’t get anywhere believing in yourself, because you hit a point where you can’t do that anymore. Where you are not enough. So you have to believe in the God that believed in you.
“Inverted pride” is a nice way of referring to that sensation. It’s a sneaky sin because it doesn’t seem like one, doesn’t feel like one, and yet it’s so powerful and so destructive and so isolating. We can sink so easily into the pride of that sin and be weighed down by it’s heaviness to the point where we can’t get up, not on our own at least (and even with others it may be next to impossible). A tricky and dangerous thing indeed is this “inverted pride.”
The pride of being obsessed with yourself, but in this case your own inadequacy. (Actually, we aren’t as important as it makes us out to be. 😉 ). We tend to think of pride as willful and depression as not, but I’d argue that neither of them are deliberate. They’re both products of a broken body and mind that can’t help but prioritize itself, especially when it is mortally emotionally wounded. No one who is depressed or anxious *wants* to feel that way— They simply can’t feel anything else.
I don’t think there’s as much of a contradiction between the medical and spiritual worlds as people think. A broken mind acts in broken ways that aren’t really the “fault” of the ghost, but could indeed be the result of original sin. We’re all tainted, and thus all equal. We all need someone to pull us up.
And okay maybe drugs too, because we live in this world and it can be so bad we might need to try and right what’s wronged by force.