In the wonderful realm of anime, we get to experience Christmas from the perspective of the Japanese, who view Christmas primarily as a holiday for couples. Perhaps this fits since a biblical marriage is supposed to mirror God’s love for His bride, the church! While many anime treat us with a lovely Christmas date episode, Tomo-chan is a Girl! handles the “Christmas date” a bit differently: because, this time, the focus is not only on the awkwardness of first love but Tomo’s very identity as a woman! Let’s see what this hilarious yet surprisingly deep series has to share with us about womanhood and the biblical parallels it contains.
On the day of her Christmas date, Tomo is in a state of crisis. Why is she feeling this way? Well, it’s a long story. So let’s start at the beginning! Having a crush is hard enough, but it’s even harder when your crush doesn’t see you as a girl! By this point in the story, Tomo has been relentlessly attempting to get her childhood friend Jun to notice her as a girl. Her first step was to seek help from her friends, particularly her best friend, Misuzu! Unfortunately, Misuzu’s attempts to aid Tomo in her endeavor don’t go as planned. While she has good intentions, Misuzu unintentionally hurts Tomo and her self-image by forcing her to act, speak, and dress in ways that align with mainstream expectations of femininity. Misuzu even goes so far as to tell Tomo it would be easier for her just to become a boy rather than trying to be a girl. How disheartening for a young woman in distress! Fortunately, by the time we get to the Christmas date, Misuzu has recognized her actions as harmful and apologized to Tomo for trying to mold her into someone she’s not. But Tomo’s worries about her femininity still linger…
It wasn’t just Misuzu who inadvertently made things more difficult for Tomo though, but Jun too! For Jun, seeing Tomo as a girl has always been a bit complicated because he used to just see her as “one of the guys.” But over time, his feelings began to ripen into love for her, for who she is as a person. The two of them approaching adulthood at such a rapid pace complicates things. Jun obviously can no longer view Tomo as a mere playmate, but he is afraid of losing the precious friendship they have always shared. So, instead of confronting his emotions, Jun chooses to ignore his budding romantic feelings and tries not to look at Tomo in that way. This leads Tomo to believe Jun doesn’t see her romantically. See the importance of communication here, y’all?
Fortunately, just in time for Christmas, the two finally get past their communication issues, and we make it to the confession! It’s the moment everyone has been waiting for: It is sweet and perfectly fits the dynamic of Tomo and Jun as they share their hearts and feelings with each other. Everything should be okay, now, right? Right?!
Well, it should be. But, once again, miscommunication strikes…and more to the point, expectations start getting in the way again. (Here’s where the identity crisis kicks in!) Tomo has chosen this special Christmas date to be the evening she will lean over and plant a confident smooch on an unsuspecting Jun! However, she’s unsure how to make this happen with her tendencies toward awkwardness. Tomo’s friends decide to give her another piece of “advice” by suggesting a “romantic” film. Tomo agrees that this would be the perfect time to give Jun a kiss, yet it takes her a while to work up the courage. When she finally does, to her horror, a sex scene pops up in the movie, and she decides against the kiss, fearing he’ll get the wrong idea. Tomo just can’t win!
Thankfully, at the end of a very awkward date, full of tension, Tomo and Jun finally have a heart-to-heart, and she tells him that she wanted to surprise him with a kiss but did not feel confident enough in her femininity to do so. Jun responds by expressing that he has no problem viewing her as a woman in any way. Instead, his reason for being quiet during their date was because Tomo’s dad had challenged him to a fight for the right to date her! Chaos ensues, the fight happens (and of course Tomo and Jun win against Tomo’s dad), and Tomo gets to plant the biggest kiss on Jun, just as she’s been dreaming about!
Tomo-chan is a Girl! ends on a very happy and encouraging note, but it has something important to share with us about how women view themselves in the midst of cultural expectations. Both Tomo and Jun are struggling with issues pertaining to worldly ideas concerning femininity and relationships. In Jun’s case, his fear of losing their friendship is founded on ideas of how couples should act and what boy/girl interactions should look like. In Tomo’s case, she longs to be seen as feminine so she can win Jun’s affection, believing that her worth as a woman and her value as a romantic partner lay in looking, acting, and sounding a certain way. While Tomo and Jun finally come to understand each other’s feelings and share a powerful confession, the backlash of these cultural expectations still affects their special Christmas date. It will take time for Tomo to heal from her insecurities, through fully owning the new confidence she is finding in her blossoming relationship with Jun and sharing a more open and understanding friendship with Misuzu.
Like Tomo, many of us have experienced the consequences (and pain) of gender stereotypes and their effect on our relationships with others. Even coming from well-intentioned family members or close friends (like Misuzu), cultural expectations can make us insecure about not only our relationships but our identity as well. However, as Misuzu ultimately realizes about Tomo, we are all created uniquely and have a specific role to play in this world (Romans 12:4-8).
It is exciting that Tomo begins to discover her identity through her new relationship at Christmas because this is actually what lies at the heart of Christmas! God offers us the gift of identity in Him through Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:17) enabling us to become children of God. The best thing is that, unlike Misuzu, who has to learn how to see Tomo properly and in the meantime, causes her friend pain, God already sees our hearts perfectly; He knows who we are already because He designed us and our purpose before we were even born (Psalm 139:13-14). And it’s not just about the grand things, like our work or calling, but the little things too: the things we delight in and geek out over. So as we invite Jesus into our interests and hobbies, He joins with us in them and can reveal to us how He can help us use them for His glory!
The other surprising thing about Tomo’s journey is that her way of being a woman is actually biblical. God’s gift of identity is much more inclusive than the feminine identity that is defined by cultural expectations. For instance, we can find a detailed description of a godly woman in Proverbs 31. Tomo (and I) would be happy to know that wearing high heels is not included in it! Instead, this passage highlights feminine traits as being “hardworking,” “strong,” and “helpful,” reminding us at the end of the passage that “Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.” Truly, God’s Word lovingly reminds us that our value as women rests not on our appearance, how “tomboyish” or “feminine” we are, or other cultural expectations placed upon us. It is our relationship with Jesus, our desire to serve others as Christ himself did, and our willingness to love well during the days we’re given that define us. What a wonderful Christmas gift from a loving God!
Tomo’s story reminds us that our value as women shouldn’t be measured according to worldly gender stereotypes. While Tomo defies the usual cultural mold of worldly femininity, she has her own qualities and beauty that her man finds attractive and that make her uniquely “herself.” God makes us all unique, and we are all attractive in our own way! Nothing’s wrong with a gal who prefers camo and sports over pink heels and glittery dresses, and nothing’s wrong with a guy who prefers music and ballet over football and hunting! Our uniqueness is a Christmas gift from our Heavenly Father, so let us receive it with thanks this Christmas season!
Have Yourself the Merriest Little Christmas!
Guest Writer Kaitlin Simmons is a Mississippi gal with a B.S. in Psychology who is obsessed with discussing scriptural parallels found within anime and manga. When this longtime otaku is not fangirling over her latest favorite anime or attempting to write something, you can find her walking with her dogs, researching exciting topics, binge-watching YouTube, or racing down the tracks of Mario Kart!
Tomo-chan is a Girl! can be streamed on Crunchyroll.
