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Fate/Zero’s Gilles de Rais: Our Double Self and New Year’s Resolutions

Twwk

…each day I murdered, and I defiled, and yet no divine punishment came.

– Gilles de Rais, Fate/Zero Episode 13

In a series full of interesting characters, I’ve become most intrigued with one of the villains of Fate/Zero, Gilles de Rais.  The last episode of the season brought us deeper into his psyche, as he talked about God, punishment, and justice.  The show suggests that Gilles became angry with God because for all the evil the once-famous soldier and noble did, God did not stop him.

Art by アレげ人類

As I wrote about earlier, the real Gilles de Rais was a notorious fiend who tortured and viciously murdered possibly hundreds of children (or did he?).  Though unlike his anime counterpart, the real Gilles was sure he would be saved by a gracious God just moments before his execution (perhaps the anime suggests that he reconsidered his position about God’s grace in an afterlife?).

Nonetheless, Gilles (both the Fate/Zero version and the real one) presents a common scenario to an almost impossible extreme.  Gilles’ one-time reliance on God did not match his actions.  I would say we all have double selves – we are all hypocrites to some extent, whether it’s only on an occasional basis or frequently.  For Christians, we may say all the correct, Christianese terminology, but our lives don’t necessarily reflect the Christian walk.

As we do things contrary to biblical teachings, we feel further and further alienated from God.  I’ve seen this time and time again with friends and acquaintances at church, particularly when I attended college; and I see it in my own life, as I make small compromises here and there, making me realize that I’m a hypocrite.

Also from experience, it’s sometime big events that can be turning points in repentance, a word that’s taken a self-righteous connotation, but which simply means to turn back to God.  A church retreat can be such an event…so can New Year’s, with it’s emphasis on resolutions.  My resolutions this year are simple:

  1. Spend more time with God, and more quality time.
  2. Be more patient with my family.
  3. Focus on being a man of character.

Do you need to weed out hypocrisy in your own life?  What are your resolutions, if any, for 2012?

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