First Impression: Vazzrock the Animation

Ookay, bear with me on this one, my friends, because this is gonna be BAD. Vazzrock The Animation is based on a video game called Tsukino Talent Production (TsukiPro), which features two boy band groups—Vazzy and Rock Down. As I understand it, the members of this group represent the twelve months out of the year, and each boy has their own “quirky” personality. Sadly, not “quirky” in the My Hero Academia sense. No, these boys are your standard idol tropes in a different wrapper. The first part of the premiere episode features our groups introducing themselves and answering questions for their fans on a TV show because THAT’S always exciting, right? Watching a bunch of pretty boys sit around answering questions? Later, we see the boys pick out pictures for the show on their phones while having an inconsequential conversation and enjoying some shallow trips down memory lane. Yes, someone decided that this would make a great anime. I don’t get it, either. We learn a little about how these guys made their big debut into the entertainment world during a photo montage, but because it’s just a bunch of dudes talking over pictures, it’s not very interesting. And to get it out the way early, no, we don’t see them perform or anything; they just sit around…talking…with the random pictures on the screen.

The second part of this episode features some of these characters taking on roles in some samurai drama…and…well… it’s just as dull as the first part of the series. There’s some drama between two of the characters–the stoic one and the not-so-stoic one if memory serves, but nothing really comes of it, and the show ends, thankfully.

I’m not going to lie, guys: watching this episode through to its completion was PRODIGIOUSLY painful. I almost asked our dear boss Twwk if I qualify for hazard pay watching this foolishness. Watching this first episode has GOT to be a violation of the Geneva Convention. I’m sure it’s in there somewhere. My friends, this first episode was so bad I found myself checking the time bar at the bottom of the screen just to see how much more I had left to watch. This show is exactly what I thought last season’s Shine On! Bakumatsu Bad Boys was going to be: pretty boys in some sort of band or group, and all the shenanigans that would ensue. Truth be told, Shine On!, for all the problems I had with it, had a much better premiere episode than this…and that’s saying something.

I guess it goes without saying that I did NOT enjoy this one. Not that I have a thing against bishōnen-heavy anime—when done right, pretty boys in an anime can be good. The Wallflower, for example, is an excellent show that says, “Yes, we have pretty boy characters, but doggonit, we also have a good story, and these characters have pretty interesting personalities outside of their standard tropes.” Vazzrock The Animation has NONE of this. These guys are shallower than a kiddie pool in the Louisiana sun. The dialogue is bland, literally NOTHING happens, and even the OP/ED is forgettable. That says something, doesn’t it? A show about a large 12-member boy band and the MUSIC (such as it is) is forgettable. It also doesn’t help matters that this is the THIRD instalment in a series of three based on a video game. So yeah, we’re just given these characters in the middle of…whatever…and told, “Okay, here you go! You deal with it!”

So, where does that leave us? If you like pretty boys in a band or are a fan of idol anime, this one is just up your alley, and more power to you if you enjoy it. Other than that, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING here to sink your teeth into, at least in this first episode. Vazzrock The Animation is just a bunch of bishōnen with ZERO intelligence or interesting characteristics doing an interview for their giggling fans while scrolling through their phones and admiring their pictures. I would rather sit through the entirety of Free! Iwatobi Swim Club before watching this crap again, and I HATED Free! The fact that Crunchyroll decided, “Yeah, you know what? Why don’t we just waste our money and get the license for THIS show” blows my mind. If you like pretty boys doing pretty boy things, then more power to you, but for me, I’m giving this one a complete, utter, and absolute PASS. I would rather watch paint dry.

Vazzrock the Animation is available for streaming on Crunchyroll.

Josh
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2 thoughts on “First Impression: Vazzrock the Animation”

  1. Hmm, bishounen, idol, with MHA quirk super powers, I would totally watch an anime like that! Your ideas for new anime are brilliant, send them to Japan immediately!

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