Beneath the Tangles started as one guy with a blog and dream. Ho ho, the corniness of it all! But really, it was a one-man operation until other writers volunteered to join. And these last few years, we’ve also added major components which have become just as important as the blog – our social media accounts. Hilomgirl runs our Tumblr. Japesland and MNewman double-dip as writers and tweeters. Samuru does the same, but with Facebook. And I spend more time on Instagram than I do here.
Sometimes, I feel like I spend too much time on Instagram. I sometimes dwell on matters involving that platform, including on how my account and others function. I follow a few dozen accounts on IG, and recently spent too much time thinking about a couple in particular. The first is a terrible account for a popular series – the administrator posts without credit, reposts the same art over and over, writes zero captions, and of course has tens and tens of thousands of followers. I’ll admit, that makes me envious. But as not as envious as that for an account I follow which I actually like.
The creator of this account is a nice person, and like me, she’s a Christian (and from my same hometown to boot!). She works hard on her shoujo account, and it’s a good follow. She has several times as many followers as we do, and they are very engaged with her.
Recently, she posted her Sarahah link. For those that don’t know, Sarahah allows you to
bully leave comments for people anonymously. It’s helpful for services like Instagram, where you can’t anonymous send messages. She has received dozens and dozens of comments the last week, many of them involving questions of faith. And while the admin has done an admirable job answering those questions, her answers are often too cookie-cutter, too Christianese, too recited. Her heart is right, but her experience and knowledge are not.
And you know what? It drives me crazy, because I want to be the one that people go to for advice. I want to lay out all my experience, good and bad, and explain how I’ve seen God work, and draw out and explain scripture that I’ve studied. But when I posted the link to my own Sarahah, I got two responses. Two.
A few days later and after searching my heart a bit, I realized the folly of my pride. In my best moments, it hits me how little I know about God, and how much I can learn from scripture and from others. But this past week, I’ve acted as if my wisdom is so immense and that like a guru, I should pass on these nuggets to grateful learners. Oh, vanity!
And so, instead, I’ve tried to teach myself the humble lesson that A) God will use me as he wants and B) that sometimes you have to earn it. If I want to have a greater impact, I can’t just sit back and expect it to happen. God will do as he wishes, but I can also work tenaciously (and humbly) toward a goal.
And still, I’m envious. But that’s part of who I am, that’s part of the lesson I want to impart – I sin sin sin. I struggle. I care too much. I care too little. And I’m just like you…but with fewer followers.
By the way, YOU can help me by sending me some anonymous comments or questions, haha, to my Sarahah account.