Virtuoso animator Natsuko Minose faces her problems head-on, at least when they are literal monsters bent on destroying the world and wiping her and her comrades off the face of the isekai. She whips out her magical pegbar, sharpens her Hi-uni pencil, and gets to drawing the biggest, baddest, most OP defender she can imagine to physically overpower and crush the enemy. Natsuko is incredibly effective at what she does, but she’s also a bit of a blunt instrument, brute forcing her way through any challenge—except, that is, when that challenge comes from a friend, as it does in episode 4 of Zenshu. When faced with the ultimate betrayal, Natsuko abandons the brawny, well-armed character designs that are her go-to and instead she draws…an idol? Huh? And yet with this dreamboat chanteur and cheesy ballad sequence, Natsuko actually gives us a picture of how we wage and win the battles of the heart, and of who partners us in the dance as we do.
Of all the enemies Natsuko and the Nine Soldiers have faced so far in the series, the most fearsome was the enemy within. In the original movie, the betrayal by Memmeln, the mono-syllabic, near-eternal elf, went undiscovered and ended tragically in her death at the hands of Luke—just another step along the way toward his ultimate breakdown. But this time, Natsuko and Luke discover Memmeln’s secret before it’s too late.
You see, Memmeln has quietly, unnoticeably succumbed to despair. She has come to despise life after seeing more comrades and loved ones die over the course of her many centuries than bears thinking of. And so she is secretly seeking the only reprieve she can conceive: leading a secret society ”choir” in summoning the Ultimate Void to trigger the end of the world. It’s selfish and short-sighted, and it’s definitely the kind of plan that will backfire spectacularly, but you can see where she’s coming from. Processing pain is hard, even for an ancient elf with millennia of practice. Natsuko, too, can understand. She is shocked, but she does not reject her friend for this betrayal. Instead, she is moved with compassion and wishes to save her—to stop her, absolutely, but also to redeem her and bring her back into community with the Nine Soldiers.
But how to do this? This is an enemy Natsuko cannot simply clobber into submission. Instead, she needs to address the root cause and not just the symptom. Natsuko must spark a change in Memmeln, and make her fall back in love with life—her own life. Natsuko needs to aim for the heart.
And so as Memmeln and the rest of the choir chant their hatred of life to summon the ultimate escape from pain, the end of the world, Natsuko counters with a different choirmaster, the Ultimate Exister. He sparkles into being with a song on his lips and arms open wide in invitation as he sweeps the choristers off their feet, drawing Memmeln into a dance and a duet that celebrates life. “I love today,” they proclaim, singing of the capacity for healing from pain, beginning a new story, finding destiny, and being fulfilled that comes “because we’re alive.”
Talk about flipping the script! What’s more, for the first time, Natsuko’s animation is fully rendered—complete with the final linework, color, lighting, sound, backgrounds, and effects that are generally missing from her usual animated interventions. It is beautiful; it is joyous; it is light on its feet. And before she knows it, Memmeln is dancing and singing and smiling, likely for the first time in centuries.
Memmeln is transformed by this experience. After the “battle”, she finds new purpose in the joy that her encounter with Lord Exister, with Life himself, unlocks in her, and she is excited to know him more, keeping his image (Natsuko’s drawings) before her always. There are parallels here for the believer, as we too become fans and followers of the one who catches us up in his arms and his song, and as we too discover new purpose in the life found in Christ.
But this is just part of it, just one expression of the deep change that’s been wrought in Memmeln. In later episodes, we see that her way of relating to others has also transformed, as she opens up to the friendship and love of the Nine. Instead of remaining aloof and solitary (with her new fandom simply replacing her previous obsession, the “choir”), Memmeln begins to linger with her comrades when the work is done. She joins in non-essential conversation and shows affection for Natsuko, patting her head and complimenting her. She’s more expressive, showing that little by little, she’s dismantling the walls of protection she had built around her heart over the decades of pain. (She maintains clear boundaries with Unio, of course, but that’s just common sense!) I can’t help but feel that she’s becoming who she was originally meant to be before pain caused her to close her heart up tight. Most importantly, her previous fate of dying in a pool of betrayal and futility at the hand of one who would have counted her a friend had she let him, has been rewritten. Memmeln does more than survive, she finds life and life fulfilled.
So what do we take away from this?
Two things. First, when we find ourselves in Natsuko’s shoes, faced with a friend who is behaving in a way we cannot fathom, rather than clobber them with our words, our condemnation, our silence or our anger, let’s invite the Ultimate Exister, the Bringer of Life into the scene. He may take the lead himself and bring that friend to a place of healing, just the two of them in duet, or he may invite us into the dance too, so that we might be reconciled with that friend. His reading of the dance is perfect, and he knows the time for duet and the time for singing in the round.
The second thing is this: Memmeln put her trust in the spirit of death instead of the Prince of Peace to walk her through the (very long) season of pain she was in. But in the dance and the duet, she encountered the Prince firsthand, and she fell in love with life again at his lead. So too can we.
When we find ourselves in Memmeln’s shoes, in the dark night of the soul and the valley of the shadow; when we realize that we have lost all joy and love for life and are tempted to seek comfort in the Ultimate Void of despair and death—metaphorically or actually—let us hold onto this eternal truth: we too have a Natsuko and Lord Exister, rolled into one! He is a friend who will intervene and intercede on our behalf; he suspends judgment even when we’ve committed the darkest of betrayals; and his heart is moved with compassion as he moves heaven and earth so that we might enter into life and love in their fullness. Our Lord Exister, the Prince of Peace himself, is ever stretching out his hand, inviting us to dance with him, to sing his song, and let his rhythm lead us into life eternal, life fulfilled, filled, filled.
We have much to live for, and the greatest one of all to live it with!
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This episode was soooo good!! I loved it, best episode of the show by far.
But also… On some level, it’s quite sad that the best reason Natsuko can think of to continue living is to fangirl over a fictional character. A bit idolatrous perhaps. But maybe more charitably it will help her get over her despair and maybe connect with other people in her choir / now fanclub.
I agree! I enjoyed this one the most so far too, maybe because Natsuko’s solution had to be a bit more thoughtful than usual…I hope she continues to grow in depth as the series continues. I have a feeling she will! (I may have a theory or two about this! But we’ll have to wait and see!)
Yes, there’s definitely something to be said about how easily fandom can slip into worship, i.e. idolatry. I like to think that if this was in the real world, God himself would use the Uta-Men to speak to Memmeln’s heart, and the hearts of all the choir members, and use Lord Exister to reveal himself to them. He does this kind of thing all the time, after all! That’s what BtT is founded on!
[…] party members have experienced some significant character growth—particularly Luke and Memmeln—but they haven’t grown as heroes. The rest of the party has primarily acted as clean-up […]
I’m not very familiar with this series but I found this article really moving. I love the comparison of Jesus to “the ultimate exister”. As someone who struggled with depression in my teenage years, encountering Jesus helped me fall in love with the life that He gave me. The idea of Him singing and dancing with us reminds me of Zephaniah 3:17 – “The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.”
Thanks so much, Jake! That’s a beautiful testimony and such a wonderful verse! (It’s one of my ‘Easter egg’ links, so I’m glad the post made you think of it too!) Also, the series really is worth a watch. I definitely recommend it!
[…] threads that we wrote about for earlier episodes (spoilers ahead!): there’s Memmeln’s continued faith in the Lord Exister and the hope it gives her to the very end; there’s QJ’s resurrection, completing his […]